Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Over the distinguished 17 month history of The Spoonbender it's become something of a tradition for me to give thanks publicly in my last post prior to the Thanksgiving break. In 2003, for example, I gave thanks that I was not Glen Campbell.

You know what they say: Be careful what you give thanks for. I'm still not Glen Campbell, and I realize now that it was a stupid thing for which to give thanks. Campbell sang "Wichita Lineman," for God's sake, and if being drunk is wrong, I don't want to be right.

So last year's foolishness has made me think about my thanks more carefully this year, because I don't want to have to Indian give thanks again next year. After no small
amount of consideration, I've decided to give thanks that I'm not a Colombian woman.

Obviously, the above news story is one reason. Being a woman in a place where they steal babies is one thing. Being one in a place where they do it by slipping you a mickey and cutting the kid out of your gut is another.

I know what you're thinking: But what about the coke? Coke grows on trees down there! Actually, bushes, but I know what you're getting at. Sure, easy access to lots of cocaine is one of the upsides of Colombia. But I think of it this way: no matter how high you are, you're still in Colombia -- Home of the Kidnapping and the Mudslide. Plus, cocaine isn't going to put that baby back in your belly, no matter how much you snort.

Happy Thanksgiving, My Adoring Fans. When you say a prayer before feasting, say a prayer for me.

Analogcabin @ 8:24 AM
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