In the absence of compelling new content from The Spoonbender this summer, America has been forced to find other sources of information and amusement. For example, there is Jill Carroll's series of articles on her captivity, written for the Christian Science Monitor and published online by CNN. And because I am nothing if not America in glorious, taut, marbleized, lightly-greased, and internetted form, I have been reading them, too.

I know what you're thinking. Do you mean that you haven't been hard at work carefully crafting your next podcast, like a latter day Norm Abram in an aural New Yankee Workshop?

But I have, and well put, too. Yes, I've been reading. And yes, I am like a latter day Abram. And yes, my studios are a bit like the New Yankee Workshop. And yes, the pace at which I create my podcasts is like that of a craftsman, carefully and lovingly gluing his biscuit joints, slowly and skillfully oiling his wood.

But still I've decided to share with you my thoughts on Ms. Carroll and her series of articles.

Now I shall pause and allow you to hail Hosanna, to gather your thoughts, and to ring out your undoubtedly very damp panties.

Before I begin, I want to make something clear: In no way do I want to minimize Ms. Carroll's suffering. No one knows better than I do that kidnapping is a terrible ordeal through which no one should have to suffer. She endured her captivity and much of her behavior during that time should be excused, perhaps even her treacherous disavowal of The Mother of Us All, America.

That said, what's with the Manic Panic, Jill? I mean, Vampire Red is tough to pull off, even for a the most delightfully featured 28-year-old. I never judge, but perhaps it's not the best choice for a lady with a look that's more significantly burka-friendly than, say, Pink.



Journalist Jill Carroll, above top, proves that the wrong shade can hold one hostage just as effectively as an AK47-toting dust-dweller, whereas Pink, above bottom, proves you don't need an AK47 to blow minds.

Analogcabin @ 11:49 AM
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