As any of you lucky enough to have met me know, nothing brightens my day more than a blackmarket baby story. This one comes to us thanks to Wisconsin's own Danny Vu. Danny who? Danny Vu, and for those of you playing Name That Nationality, here are a couple of clues to help you along. The first one's probably enough for you to get it: He was arrested for scheming to sell his daughter. But if you're totally retarded, the second should be a dead giveaway: He owns a nail salon. That's right, Charlie, he's from the Home of Humidity, Southeast Asia's leading exporter of child brides -- Vietnam!

Danny is a single father, and we all know how hard that can be. I mean, how can a brotha get his dick wet with a baby all up in yo shit 24/7, know what I'm sayin'? Plus, finishing off the basement with a bar and big screen would pay off huge not only at resale, but when bringing white bitches home from Friday's. But remodeling's expensive, and it seems like every dollar he saves goes down that baby's gullet in the form of strained peas or whatever ungodly shit the VC feed to their children.

So what to do? Put out word at the salon that any of the barren bitches whining away in the salon can get themselves a relatively healthy baby girl for the rock bottom price of $7K. Granted, little Tran won't ever really look like yours, but on the upside, she'll never have to worry about her figure.

Danny eventually found a buyer. Though she requested they contact lawyers and do the adoption legit, Danny didn't see a need. And that was what got him in the end. Not wanting to deal with lawyers.

Sure, selling your daughter in a nail salon is a little skeevy, but is it really wrong? Are we as a nation so beholden to lawyers that they must validate our every transaction? Do we really need them to put their stamp of approval on what the mind and the heart already know is the right thing to do? And you wonder why adoption is so expensive. I'll tell you this: It's not the cost of goods. Fuck. I'll put a baby up in you for nothin'.


Remodeling enthusiast and capitalist Danny Vu, above, looking fetching in orange.

Analogcabin @ 6:23 PM
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