There are only three explanations for the behavior that resulted in Joshua Vannoy's humiliation. And because it's your lucky day, I've outlined them below.

Explanation One: Joshua Vannoy wore a Denver Broncos jersey to his high school in the Pittsburgh suburbs two days before the Broncos played the Steelers in the AFC Championship Game because he's blind and wasn't aware it was a Broncos jersey.

Explanation Two: Joshua Vannoy wore a Denver Broncos jersey to his high school in the Pittsburgh suburbs two days before the Broncos played the Steelers in the AFC Championship Game because, as he claims, he's a huge John Elway fan and is compelled to support his retired hero under even the most uncomfortable circumstances.

Explanation Three: Joshua Vannoy wore a Denver Broncos jersey to his high school in the Pittsburgh suburbs two days before the Broncos played the Steelers in the AFC Championship Game because his parents don't pay enough attention to him, so he tries to make up for it by doing obnoxious things.

Little Joshua is wearing glasses in the picture below, so I think we can safely exclude Explanation One. After all, the blind wearing untinted glasses is a bit like the impotent wearing condoms or the deaf wearing headphones. If we take what Joshua says and accept Explanation Two at face value, then he deserves all of the abuse he received and more. It's unnatural for a boy to admire a horse-faced ex-football player that much. And as for Explanation Three, let me relate to you a story from my past. When I was about 16 I dated a girl whose parents were fairly Catholic. Her mother would occasionally drag this girl to church. On those occasions this girl enjoyed wearing a Bad Religion t-shirt with her heavy eye shadow and knee high combat boots.

That she was exactly the kind of Catholic girl you suspect is beside the point. I bring up the story because I think we all can see that it would have been silly for her to get upset had people responded strongly to her for wearing a shirt meant to illicit strong response. The only thing different about Joshua Vannoy is that he's never had sex with me in the back of a white Jeep Grand Cherokee.

As far as you know.


Joshua Vannoy, above, is like a sick little Catholic girl, except without any appeal whatsoever.

Analogcabin @ 11:57 AM
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