Not that any of you tasteless whores would notice, but lately the fire in my belly that can be quenched only by iced tea enemas and blogging seems to have gone out. I know what you're thinking: But why? I can't really say. Maybe one too many iced tea enemas. Sometimes you shouldn't ask why. You should just go ahead and announce to the already pitiful world that you're retiring from blogging for good.

Psych! You gullible retards should go eat shit!

You're probably wondering what this is all about. I'll tell you what: this. Now I realize you're all shuddering at the prospect of one of my posts-about-blogging, so I'll try to keep it brief.

Though I've never actually read it, I agree with Uncle Grambo that this Pink is the New Blog site is horrible. And I also agree with him that the reason it's so bad is that the author is gay. What I find objectionable is that he's willing to overlook the bad writing, superficiality, cash-grabbing short-sightedness, and outright gayness of all of his own little blog clique, with their Gawkers and book deals and stupid fucking appearances on VH1, simply because they lick his blinker in a way that makes him choke on his retainer. But when some poor, misguided homo comes along and copies him in essentially the same way a legion of his "friends" has done for ages, he starts firing off the homophobia and threatening to retire.

Well I'm here to say that, while I'm as scared of homosexuals as the next guy, it's nothing to stop blogging over. Hasn't this year been tough enough already, what with 30,000 Iraqis and Pat Morita dead? Losing Whatevs now would be like a tsunami washing 100,000 Ooga Boogas away right after Christmas!

Analogcabin @ 11:49 AM
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