Elian Gonzalez, that Cuban kid in the closet like a hundred years ago, turned 12. And apparently that's what CNN considers news these days.

I wonder how long are we going to be subjected to Elian news items. Do I say "wonder?" You bet I did! So let's look into my comedy telescope on the hilarious future in a feature I like to call The Spoonbender's Comedy Telescope into the Hilarious Future!

Elian Gonzalez Gets to Second with Juanita Perez, Cuba's Castro Joins Him for Political Speech

Elian Gonzalez Majors in Econ, Cuba's Castro Joins Him for Political Speech

Elian Gonzalez's Girlfriend Thinks She's Pregnant, Cuba's Castro Joins Him for Political Speech

Elian Gonzalez Doesn't Really Celebrate 33rd Birthday, Cuba's Castro Joins Him for Political Speech

Elian Gonzalez Feels Tingling in His Left Arm, Cuba's Castro Joins Him for Political Speech

Elian Gonzalez Not Angry, Disappointed with Son's Performance, Cuba's Castro Joins Him for Political Speech


Fidel Castro, above left, whisper sweetly into Elian Gonzalez's ear that he think today's post on The Spoonbender is a big disappointment, and that it has the feel of a joke taken from a particularly weak Leno monologue.

Analogcabin @ 11:50 AM
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