It's not that I'm a fan of suicide so much as I think it's kind of ridiculous to try to dissuade people from doing it. I'm not sure who it was, but someone said that suicide is the ultimate expression of personal freedom. I don't know if that's true, but in a time when the primary occupation of society as a whole seems to be insuring that the individual is relieved of all responsibility, I find maternalistic hand-wringings over the chosen fates suicide "victims" to be the zenith of absurdity. Of course I'd never undertake it myself -- I'm not cruel enough to inflict upon the world the hell on Earth that would be life without me. Nor would enjoy seeing anyone close to me do it. But the fact remains that, intellectually speaking, I support a person's right strap on a SCUBA mask full of carbon monoxide and dive into Davey Jones' locker.

That's intellectually. Practically speaking, I think we all can agree that the final act of a large percentage of suiciders is as irritatingly childish and self-obsessed as they were. It's like when a dork wears a Star Trek uniform. We all know you're a fucking loser. Wearing the communicator pin is just rubbing our faces in it. I'm talking about the anchormen who blow their brains out on air, the teachers who do it in class, the maligned employee who does it in the boss' office, and the lovesick also-ran who does it on the prom queen's lawn.

But the worst of the lot are the suiciders that try to make a big show out of it, but fuck that up, too. Take this University of Oklahoma student, for example. There's no doubt that it's sad he felt compelled to kill himself when I'll bet a $100 rub and tug would've given him a new lease on life, but he did. What's worse is that he did it by blowing himself up. And what's worse still is that he did it outside of a University of Oklahoma football game. I mean, he obviously intended for a great many people to witness his act. And yet he chose to do it outside of a stadium filled with 84,000 screaming idiots screaming their lungs out.

If you want Stevie Wonder to know you think he's an asshole, you don't flip him the bird.

Analogcabin @ 3:39 PM
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