Tuesday, August 03, 2004

In case you've forgotten that American soldiers tortured and sodomized Iraqi civilians in a concrete prison in Baghdad, today marked the commencement of the trial in a military court of Pfc. Lynndie England in Fort Bragg, North Carolina. At the trial, a military investigator was quoted as saying that, England, when first questioned about the Abu Ghraib photos showing her with naked Iraqi prisoners, explained, "It was just for fun."

England then allegedly went on to say, You know, like drowning chickens in a barrel or shooting coons in an oak tree. In Iraq, there weren't none chickens or coons, there was just these duskies all around. So we pulled they pants down and pointed at they penises. You know, for fun.

When asked to comment further, England then implicated herself by saying, Well, back in West Virginia we sometimes get bored and do stuff for fun, like drive around the Dairy Maid and shoot up the neon sign with a shotgun, or kill kittens and skin 'em and fillet they insides, or cut the rectum hole out of a stray dog and slide it over the truck antennae and drive around town until it dries out, then soak it in gasoline and tie black cat firecrackers to it, and take it to mayor's house and light it up on fire.

England, if charged with all counts of abuse against her, stands to face 3 months probation from the military and a delicate slap across the face with a white satin glove.

Lynndie England appeared in court today to face charges of being a poor person from West Virginia who, unfortunately, became all that she could become.

Mathis @ 2:57 PM
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