Upon hearing word that a small, beautiful, fuzzy, cutie-pie kitty-cat was found three miles offshore in the Gulf of Mexico, frantically though still preciously swimming to safety, a nation of endlessly bored secretaries let out a collective "awwwww". Like a rolling wave of nausea, they lifted their voices to the heavens and through their parted lips whispered songs of adulation, full of treacle. Tears streamed down their cheeks and fell hapharzadly on desktop Cathy calendars. Millions of screensavers were changed.

People, listen to me now: America changed.

It looks like this boat has finally found its captain.


"Hi everybody! Plucky the Cat here. I enjoy persevering in the face of impossible odds, grooming myself, and America. Vote for meeeeeee!"

Mathis @ 11:24 AM
Permalink |