Ailing charitable organization cum celebrity public relations firm Amnesty International released a report today condemning Arab militias in Sudan for kidnapping and gang-raping women ranging from age from 8 to 80.

Charity industry watchdogs were keenly interested in the stance presented in the former giant's latest report, and hopes were high it would rally the organization's flagging popularity. Response to the Sudan choice has been cool, with criticism ranging from "overly conservative" to "piss poor and totally 1977."

"This is not the bold stance Amnesty needed to take," said Michael Musto, the absurdly effeminate Village Voice gossip columnist. "Being against gang-rape is, like, duh."

The world's most beloved charitable organization until the late 1980's, Amnesty International enjoyed the public support of virtually every internationally known actor and pop musician. At its zenith the Amnesty craze was so widespread that clubs appeared in high schools and colleges across the United States.

As the 1990's dawned, however, charitable tastes changed. Canny PR by groups like PETA and the AIDS explosion diverted public attention and always fickle celebrity interests to smaller, more specialized charities.

"Africa jumped the shark at Live Aid, and being against Arabs is so not where you want to be right now," said Musto. "You could even spin to 8 to 80 thing as being inclusive; finding women of all ages hot."

Jane Patterson-Reilly, senior analyst at the Center for Charitable Ratings, said, "Amnesty's choice of Africa is weak. Public and celebrity perception is that the continent is beyond help, and they find it depressing. People tend to feel more positive about Southeast Asia and China right now. For example, male prostitution in southern China might have been a stronger, hipper choice."


"Images such as the above contribute to public perception that Africa is, like, totally ug and gross," said Musto.

Analogcabin @ 8:50 AM
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