The problem with John Kerry's proposed education plan -- the one he claims will create one million more college graduates than are currently forecast in five years -- is the premise. America needs fewer college graduates, not more.

I don't want to sound like I'm against education because I'm not. Except for black people.

Seriously, though, this isn't about education. This is about the job market. Ask anyone that graduated college after, say, 1985. There is simply too much competition for the kind of "professional" jobs a bachelor's degree used to all but guarantee. And that glut of college graduates in the job market has resulted in reactions that have only exacerbated the problem.

First, employers begin to claim that a college education is a job prerequisite, even for those which it's clearly not necessary, simply because they can. Take, for example, the position once known as secretary. Now, before all you little ladies email me nastygrams, I chose this job as an example because it's something with which most people are familiar, not because I think a stupid person could do it. On the contrary, it's very difficult work dealing with terrible people that is largely thankless, except when it comes to corkboard space for Cathy cartoons. I respect secretaries. Especially when they're hot and wear short skirts.

I'd speculate that, as late as 1990, very few secretaries held college degrees. Today, though the title has changed to receptionist or office manager or assistant, the job duties remain essentially the same. If anything, I'd guess the work's gotten easier, what with copy machines replacing mimeographs, direct voicemail, computers loaded with solitaire, and sexual harassment laws. But ask around and I think you'll find that about 70% or more of secretaries now have college degrees. The difference, of course, is that secretary was once a career. Today, like every other god damn job, it's a stepping stone to something else that will never materialize.

In reaction to job qualification inflation is an increase in graduate school enrollment. Predictably, this is followed by a glut of graduate school graduates. Glamorous teaching jobs such as those in college, already scarce because of tenured baby boomers, drive those with advanced degrees into the non-education job market. There they begin to compete with the already fucked bachelor's degree holders. Soon, the secretary with the BA in English has been replaced by a much less cute chick with an MFA in Poetry.

Recognizing the inflation of job prerequisites and increased competition, people realize that, to land any decent job, a college education is necessary. Demand for undergraduate and graduate schools increases. The higher education industry responds, and colleges grow in size and number. Cost increases while admission criteria fall. Now there's a college for everyone, no matter how stupid. In fact, there's a grad. school for everyone, as long as you can pay.

This, of course, while high schools crumble nationwide.

Let's summarize. Today, we have stupider college graduates competing for the same jobs smarter high school graduates used to hold happily. We have a public primary education system being slowly replaced by a private secondary education system that provides schooling the quality of which varies wildly. We have a system in which, essentially, the test of whether you deserve a job is how rich your parents are or how much debt you're willing to take on.

We have a nation of BA's mowing lawns, baristas with Master's degrees, and book store clerks with Ph.D's, all of whom think they're overeducated and underemployed, when, in reality, they've just invested more money in a lot of weak education. And what solace do we, as a society, offer these poor souls? Blogs.

If I were a father of a high school senior, I'd encourage him to become a contractor. Those guys make a shit load and they get to write off their trucks.

Analogcabin @ 10:52 AM
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