The University of Missouri at Columbia is well known not for academics, as you might hope, or for athletics, as you might suspect, but for its entry in the Guinness Book of World Records for the largest single day, single site blood drive in recorded blood drive history. The haul was 3,156 units of blood and the year was 1999. Oh, how they partied. Oh, how they danced. Oh, how they bled.

The victory was in no small part due to the "Rough 'n' Ready" ladies of Gamma Phi Beta, no doubt. But today that rough 'n' ready, good to go bravado and passion for giving blood has them in some seriously hot water.

An email to sisters intercepted by the crafty mischief-makers of Tri Lamb reveals that sorority blood donation coordinator Christie "Let It Bleed" Key strong-armed members into giving blood, and encouraged them to lie during the screening process. The email is excerpted below.

I dont (sic) care if you got a tattoo last week LIE. I dont (sic) care if you have a cold. Suck it up. We all do. LIE. Recent peircings (sic)? LIE. We're not messing around. Punishment for not giving blood is going to be quite severe.

Key continued.

Shot up and shared the needle? LIE. I dont (sic) care if it was with a hatian (sic) whore and Gia Carangi. LIE. Even if you and a pledge sister pulled a train of every man in Botswanna (sic) and didn't even think about condoms. LIE. If you do not give blood me and the rest of the sisters will come over to your dorm room in our nightys (sic) and spank and tickle and wrestle you until our laughter becomes moans of saffic (sic) delite (sic) and the nite (sic) becomes dawn.

Analogcabin @ 11:03 AM
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