The results of a CNN/USAToday/Gallup poll released today concludes that Iraqis think the US invasion did more harm than good, but was worth it. Specifically, the majority of Iraqis feel that the US-led ouster of Saddam Hussein did more harm than good. A majority also felt that the US-led ouster of Saddam Hussein was worth it any hardship it caused. Analysts were puzzled by the contradictory results.

"To be honest, I really don't know what to make of this," said Gallup pollster Clayton Schmitt. "Our sampling methods have been proven accurate time and again, and our questions are designed by experts in the field for clarity and accuracy."

Analysts at think tanks on both sides of the aisle agree that the Iraqis polled must not consider being better off without Saddam Hussein the same is causing good. "There's a disconnect here," said Center for Policy Analysis analyst Wallace Broom, Ph. D. "The results seem to indicate that the respondents are never going to be happy, never satisfied."

After an examination of the results, US civilian administrator of Iraq Paul Bremer was quicker to draw conclusions. "I've long suspected that these smock-wearing mud people are monumentally stupid. These blatantly contradictory poll results are undeniable, empirical evidence of it."

When asked to provide insight into the seeming paradox, Iraqi citizen Mustafa Kemal said, "I am sorry?" Kemal responded with confidence, however, when asked whether he is worse off now than before the American invasion. "Yes, yes! I was high paid television producer for Iraqi television channel. Now, my beautiful wife is dead from a Mother Of All Bombs, and I lost my left leg below the knee when large caliber depleted uranium round tore through the door of my Fiat."

Kemal was equally assertive that the war to remove Saddam Hussein was well worth the subsequent hardship. "Yes, yes! Saddam was terrible tyrant. Before the war, Saddam's men arrested my wife and raped her repeatedly with a shepherd's crook. I had no freedom. As a high paid television producer for Iraqi television channel, I was able to bribe them to spare her the red hot kebob skewer, but many were not so lucky. Thank Allah for this war!"

President Bush's response was one of vindication. "I think, as we can all see, our dusky brothers and sisters over there just can't figure it for themselves. That's why we're here, and we're over there, and we're doing it, and we're going to keep doing it -- for those little dirt devils."

Unnamed sources within Gallup have indicated that English may not have been the best language in which to conduct the poll.

Analogcabin @ 2:46 PM
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