I have but one thing to say to you, Los Angeleno Michael Todd Howard: April Fools!

For those of you not in on my little prank, I have a friend named Michael Todd Howard, or Mikey, and he loves to fantasize about raping women. I know what you're thinking: Who doesn't? True enough, but my buddy Mikey is much more enthusiastic about the idea of raping women than the average joe. Unfortunately for Mikey, he has oodles of respect for both women and the criminal justice system. It's a classic case of the id's conflict with the superego, and a difficult predicament for mi amigo Mikey.

A difficult predicament, and the perfect setup for a great prank!

I went online and discovered a number of chat rooms in which those with rape fantasies gather and discuss the ins and outs of their hobby. Sometimes women who want to be raped, except not really, and men who'd love to do the raping, except not for real, set up little meetings in which they pretend rape and get raped. I told Mikey where to find these chat rooms, and he was obviously eager to check them out.

I posed as an attractive young woman in the San Diego area eager to be raped. My username was "4sMe_RapeFan7." It wasn't difficult to find Mikey. His username was "RapeApe_1968" -- obviously a reference to the year he was born and his favorite cartoon, Grape Ape. After a few months of online chats and email exchanges, I proposed... or rather, "4sMe_RapeFan7" proposed that we meet for a good old-fashioned raping. Mikey's enthusiasm was obvious, and he quickly agreed. He was like a kid in a rape candy store when I set the time and I gave him the address.

The wrong address!

Mikey got a big surprise when he showed up to rape the wrong person. But rather than tell you what happened, I'll let the article do the talking:

The victim stopped the attack by yelling and attacking Howard's testicles. Howard then asked for the name the victim used in the chat room and she responded by saying she had never visited a chat room and did not have a personal computer.

Gotcha, Mikey!

Analogcabin @ 9:40 AM
Permalink |