Top Ten Places Where Spalding Gray Could Be

10: Sucked into same breach in the time/space continuum as Emilio Estevez.

9: In high school, after shaving, peroxide on sides of hair allowed him to pass as new wave student named Maxwell Houser.

8: Abducted by fundamentalist Morman to be second wife, currently chained to tree near Sandy, Utah.

7: In law school, after using melanin pills to pose as a black person named Mark Watson allowed for his admission.

6: During visit to "barcade" Dave and Buster's, overdosed on fun, quaaludes.

5: Working as toy designer in Manhattan after fortune-telling vending machine trapped him in the body of an adult.

4: In Altus, Arkansas with Martin Amis filming The Simple Life 2.

3: In high school, posing as studly male student named Terry Griffith in order to prove worth as writer for the paper.

2: Not missing at all; simply the size of an insect after the shrink ray he was close to perfecting misfired.

1: Swimming to Cambodia.

Analogcabin @ 10:26 AM
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