Someone's finally created a device that approximates my heretofore inimitable knack for making the ladies go crazy. On and on 'til the break of dawn, as it were. It's called the Slightest Touch, and it retails for $139.95. Since the cat's out of the bag, I suppose it doesn't hurt to detail the technique here.

First, the quarry must imbibe what this article calls "an electrolyte sports drink." I've found that Gatorade Ice: Lime mixes best with vodka, which is, or course, an integral part of my method, though the Slightest Touch people claim it's not necessary. The Slightest Touch folks then direct the user to connect their device's electrodes to the insides of the lucky lady's ankles. I would normally use a defibrillator for this step, but I've found that jumper cables and a car battery or portable generator work well for more spur-of-the-moment sessions. When camping or at the drive-in, for example. Once the charge is applied, the makers of Slightest Touch claim that it will bring the woman "to the pre-orgasmic plateau where she dangles on the edge of orgasm for as long as she wants." I can verify the effect. It's evidenced by shrieking and howling you'd expect from a wolf in a bear trap.

Now the Slightest Touch folks don't say it's necessary, but I'd suggest you keep an analgesic salve at hand, as contact burns may occur.

Link via TMFTML.

Analogcabin @ 7:14 AM
Permalink |