I generally stay away from Britney news. This is not only because I like to think of myself being above interest in the mucky fracas her life is becoming, but also because there's nothing I could post here that wouldn't have been discussed ad obvsium at Whatevs, The Blueprint, and Peabsburg.

So news that Britney's tour will be called The Onyx Hotel did not pique my interest initially. Soon, though, I was piqued. Fully piqued. How could anyone, let alone weak-willed me, resist being piqued by the following Jive Records PR quote?

The Onyx Hotel is a vibrant, whimsical place where wondrous dreams are realized, and the darkest of secrets are revealed.

If anyone knows somebody at Jive, I'd love to talk to the person responsible for that line. "Vibrant," "whimsical," and "wondrous" all get used, and they're followed up by "the darkest of secrets." Not just "darkest secrets," "the darkest of secrets."

Somewhere in a luxuriously appointed office sits a highly paid public relations professional imagining a place where dark and terrible secrets are revealed. Not just dark secrets. Things like incest fantasies and murderous rage. The darkest of all secrets. And they are revealed with whimsy.

Analogcabin @ 10:09 AM
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