There's nothing quite like a weekend in Kinderhook, Michigan to change your outlook and make you realize that Iron Maiden's current and best lead singer, Bruce Dickinson, is either a bigger douchebag than previously suspected or the greatest, coolest rock star ever.

Without a doubt, the dichotomy begins with the Maiden itself -- perhaps the coolest, most asinine band ever to rock crowds worldwide, but mostly in Japan and Northern Europe. It's difficult to express how hard they rock, but believe you me, they do. The syncopated bass lines driving into bold choruses, punctuated by guitars screeching in harmony and Dickinson's operatic tenor. That dramatic and unrelenting rocking is the only thing that salvages lyrics like, "Without a stillsuit you would fry / On the sands so hot and dry / In a world called Arrakis." But rather than arguing the point to the uninitiated, I'll simply direct you to "Powerslave." Revel in the duality of it all.

Then there's his fencing. I can't verify it now, but I've heard that he was a professional at some point, or was nearly on Britain's Olympic team. Whatever the facts, fencing is one of those sports -- it's cool in a way, especially when done by a mostly nude Soviet spy lady. But when it's done by a guy whose lyrics already betray a penchant for sci fi, it's a lot less cool. Almost uncool on Society for Creative Anachronism levels.

Tae Kwon Do's the same way -- rad when it's a mostly nude Chinese spy lady rather than a sweaty, heavily-acned Dungeonmaster.

And now there's this. I'd like to believe that Bruce has a job because he's both humble and has a genuine love for flying. Or perhaps he's got a tremendous work ethic and feels as though a job keeps him grounded ("grounded," as it were, wakka wakka.) If that were the case, well, how cool. I mean, really. That's cool.

But somehow I doubt it. And if the behavior is as inexplicable and dorky as it seems, well, there's not much to say beyond, what a fucking dork.

Analogcabin @ 7:21 AM
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