I think I've made it perfectly clear in the past that I support the handicapped rolling into the sports world. But that doesn't change the fact that this proves, once and for all, that starting on special teams is not just as important as starting on offense or defense, no matter what your coach said.

The article is the story of Bobby Martin -- a special teams player for Dayton's Colonel White High School football team. Or in his case, perhaps "very special teams" player would be more apropos. Martin was recently ejected from a game for not wearing shin guards, knee pads, and thigh pads as is required in the rules.

I know what you're thinking: Tell me, O Author of The Spoonbender, why does the ruling of a high school football referee have legs in the media? Because Bobby Martin doesn't. Whether he was born without stems or had them amputated I can't be sure without subscribing to SI.com. But what I can say with certainty is that Martin's been done wrong. Not only by that Great Taker of Legs, God, but also by that ref. If Martin wants to trundle around the turf in pursuit of a kick returner we can only hope is blind, I say let him. Knee pads or no, knees or no.

Word on the street is that his story's been optioned by the wiley Jews that run Hollywood. The movie will be called Black Man Can't Jump.

Thank you, and good night.

IMAGE REMOVED AT THE REQUEST OF GO PHOTOGRAPHY -- 513.571.6600
Bobby "The Chop Block" Martin, above, is seen preparing for his patented "You taken 'em high, I'll take 'em low" move.

Analogcabin @ 11:48 AM
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