Worksheet: Possible Fodder for Today's Spoonbender.

Topic: Karl Rove outed CIA agent.
Pros: Obligatory fat/bald joke. Double entendre featuring "leak." Something about his girlish squealing.
Cons: Enough with the politics. Idealistic outrage threatens to tear apart the very fabric of our jaded readership and so on. Jokes probably exhausted on the Daily Show months ago.
Verdict: Pass.

Topic: 450 sheep jump to their deaths in Turkey.
Pros: Whole bestiality angle: imply that they'd do anything to get away from the inappropriate touching of Farmer... [Look up Turkish name. Possibly that guy with the website who "kiss you!"]
Cons: Too obvious. PETA protests. "...Doth protest too much" comment possibility.
Verdict: Eh.

Topic: Trip to Sacramento this past weekend.
Pros: Backwards hillbilly jokes always gold. Something about Arnold. That picture of me with the stuffed animals that C-Baby thought was so gay and hilarious.
Cons: Clues could reveal my secret identity. Avoid giving more ammo to gay rumors. Nobody cares about what happens in Sacramento ever since the World League of American Football folded and Tesla broke up.
Verdict: Nah.

Topic: Colin Hay show last week.
Pros: Would be almost like one of those popular blogs where hipsters write about all the happening indie shows they've been to. Possible joke about how Hated Author of Spoonbender turns into doe-eyed huggie bear when Joanna Newsom is mentioned.
Cons: Would be almost like one of those popular blogs where hipsters write about all the happening indie shows they've been to. May cause Ultragrrl to start calling me again.
Verdict: Skip it.

Topic: 15-year-old Michelle Wie misses the cut on the PGA Tour.
Pros: [Raises one eyebrow.]
Cons: Conditions of my parole. Confirm C-Baby's worst fears about me.
Verdict: Maybe later.

Hm. No Spoonbender today, I guess.

Ian @ 8:58 AM
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