In the wake of the recent bombings in London and Egypt, I know a lot of people are wondering how a few men armed only with fertilizer, egg timers, backpacks, and moustaches and who were trained by a guy who lives in a dune can consistently stymie some of the most highly-trained and well-equipped police and intelligence forces in the world. Well, I'm here to say that I share your wonder, my friends. But the difference between you and me is that when I wonder, I do serious research. I go to the library. I contact officials and experts. I don a many-pocketed Orvis vest and go undercover. I scour Wikipedia and Google, and I turn my wonder into your delight. When you wonder, you do nothing more than aim your internets at The Spoonbender, and who can blame you.

Take this morning's news that Egyptian police have released photos of suspects in last week's bombing in Sharm el-Sheik, for example. The photos are below.



So for those of you wondering how to stop these guys, these are the results of my research: Winning the war on terror is not about uniformed officers on the streets, and it's not about covert ops manpower infiltrating terrorist cells. It's about upgrading from dot matrix to an ink jet, or even a laser. The bottom line that that, while today's modern ink jet printers can run as high as tens of dollars, they provide the resolution required to say with certainty whether or not your suspects are, for example, black or white.

That said, based on the images released, I've concluded that the men pictured are, from left to right, future hall of fame slugger Jose Canseco and Cu Ba Nguyen, who played Jimmy Wah, the fey owner of Jimmy Wah's, in Good Morning, Vietnam.

Analogcabin @ 10:24 AM
Permalink |