And so our time together has come to an end. Monday, assuming customs officials forgo a body cavity search and fail to notice the opium-filled Tiki statue hidden in his most secret of places, the Genuine Spoonbender will be back at his post, and I will have returned to my regular duties, where the sun is always shining and I hardly ever get called a desperate hack. And thus will close a proud, if gooey, chapter of my life.

Before bidding you my final farewell, I'd like to thank the proprietor of this site for giving me the opportunity to unleash my inner bastard to an extent not generally reached on my own watch. (By the way, I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but those girls you sent over to "help" me all had bad breath, and penises.)

To the audience, I say only this: I'd like to think that at some point during these two weeks of gentle, legally defensible banter at the expense of ethnic caricatures, protestors of indeterminate gender, small-bootied murderesses, celebrity flu-sufferers, smelly hippies, smarmy hipsters, illiterate rednecks, the President, the Pope, Turkish sheep-molestors, baby-eating Croatians, the Hated Author of the Spoonbender, Dave Eggers, Chief Wahoo, fishy vaginal odor-victims, CIA-identity leakers, Ultragrrl, Jamie Farr, and myself, there came just one brief moment when you, the readers, and I, the guest-blogger, looked into each other's virtual eyes... and our disparate minds became as One.

If not, up yours.



I leave you with the universal Spoonbender salute.

Ian @ 3:43 PM
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