So if you read many blogs, you're probably familiar with one of the most ubiquitous blog advertisers -- a company called Neighborhoodies. I don't know much about the company, except that they appear to be headquartered in New York and that they specialize in ironing letters on to sweatshirts. But I do know this: If you wear a sweatshirt made by this company, you're fucking retarded.

Simply feeling compelled to express to the world whatever it is that wearing a sweatshirt with "Cobble Hill" ironed-on to it expresses doesn't make you retarded. There's probably a good reason to exclaim to passers-by that you're a gentrifying hipster, and you and your intern friend successfully chased an Ecuadorian family of six out of your sweet two bedroom apartment with your daddy-subsidized rent checks. There's no doubt that a two-word phrase is much more pithy than telling everyone within shouting distance that you're an irritating whore who claims that Geek Love is her favorite book, which is true only so far as it's the only book she's read since A Tale of Two Cities in eighth grade. In a way, I completely understand that you really want to feel like you're a part of something, but that your Kappa Kappa Gamma sweatshirt doesn't go over at The Knitting Factory as well as it did in the dining hall at Hampshire.

What makes you retarded is that you're either willing to pay $50 to someone to make you a sweatshirt with "Cobble Hill" ironed-on to it when you could purchase a sweatshirt at any discount department store for less than $10, a package of iron-on letters at Joann Fabrics for $3, and a used iron at Goodwill for $2, or you're too retarded to be able to figure out how Neighborhoodies combined those three ingredients into the garment you'd like to wear.

All that said, do you think they could make a dark blue one with "College" across the front in white? That would be hilarious.


A retarded girl, above.

Analogcabin @ 9:03 AM
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