As I am a very popular and influential blogger, I'd wager that you think you can imagine how much email I receive. Well, you can't. The volume is just too great. Thank God I don't care enough to read all of it.

Of the small amount I do read, much of it goes something like this:

Dear Author of My Favorite Website:

I saw this story today, and I think it has The Spoonbender written all over it.

Also, I want you to put it up in me.

Your Fan --

Mary Jane Rottencrotch

Now those many corresponders must wonder why I seldom if ever post about the item they suggest. There are a number of reasons. First among these is that I am not a prom DJ, and I do not take requests. Second is that there's more to mining my type of material than simply finding the first story you see about underaged girls behaving badly or Africans in a bad way. You need to find a certain universal angle to the story -- that it's about humanity's best intentions failing pathetically, God's maleficence, our deeply racist underpinnings, or all man's unspoken desire to befoul Marilu Henner.

The bottom line is that it's not easy to do what I do. If it was, I wouldn't be making the kind of money I am for doing it.

From time to time, however, a story comes along that is so obviously perfect for this website that you bust a gut merely in anticipation of my genius laughsmithery.

This is such a story.

Analogcabin @ 3:53 PM
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