Monday, May 09, 2005

So suppose you're in prison. No, not the metaphorical prison that is your hollow and ultimately meaningless life. I mean an actual, bars-on-the-windows, ignominous-delousing-and-cavity-searching prison with inmates and guards and razor wire. And no, I don't know why you're in there. Let's say it's for smuggling... maybe endangered lemurs packed full of cocaine and wrapped in old copies of Preteen Whackers Illustrated.

Now, suppose that the conditions in the prison are bad enough and the management so unresponsive that you feel like your best course of action is to covertly rally your unreliable fellows and risk life, limb, and further punishment to take a guard hostage with the intention of holding him until your demands have been met.

You'd expect that these conditions would be bad, indeed. Maybe there's urine and feces in a bucket in the corner, or your sleeping mat is filled with old action figures, or the sound of a garbage truck backing up is piped into your cell at random intervals throughout the evening.

Were you in this situation, would you release your hostage in return for 15 pizzas? Wouldn't the implication -- that the inhumane conditions you were protesting could be successfully addressed with approximately $100 worth of junk food -- trivialize future concerns you might raise?

My point here? Prisoners suck at negotiating stuff.

Analogcabin @ 10:57 AM
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