The passing of Pope John Paul II this weekend left a void inside of me that even Hot Pockets could not fill. And in that, I know I speak for everyone in the world. The Pope is God's Own Answer Man, and without him, my mind filled with questions. Is it a damnable offense to watch The Starlet during the official papal mourning period? When there's a new pope, will he take a stand on anal? If the pope isn't immortal and cannot fly, is there any hope for me? By this morning, however, I accepted that no answers will come, for God has forsaken us all and left us to salvage what's left of His rotting garden.

Instead of railing against God, who clearly doesn't listen, I've chosen to focus my frustration and anger on a blind doctor.

Now before you all start in with your, He's not handicapped, being blind's practically a superpower! bullshit, let me say that I have nothing against blind people. And trust me, if I did, I wouldn't hesitate to write it here. After all, it's not like they're going to see it. Only those of you who can honestly say that they'd go to him for their health care needs can judge me. And I'm not talking about just for a routine prostate exam or something, I mean for something really frightening. Just imagine:

YOU: So does it look normal, doc?

DR. BLINDY: Does what look normal?

YOU: This thing on my sternum! It's kind of a weird color....

DR. BLINDY: What's "color?"

Let's put aside for a moment that I think he'll have problems attracting patients, and not only because he's probably unfamiliar with the concept of a sign. And it's not that I'm saying that a blind person completing medical school isn't admirable. It is. He's clearly very driven for a blind person. What irks me is that he did it with lots of high tech help. Consider this excerpt from the article:

He used a variety of special tools, including raised line drawings, a computer that simultaneously reads into his earpiece whatever he types, a visual describer, a portable printer that allowed him to write notes for patient charts, and a device called an Optacon that has a small camera with vibrating pins that help his fingers feel images.

You know, I'd bet that I could triumphantly overcome the myriad challenges of medical school with the help of "a variety of special tools," as well. Say, an actual doctor to, like, whisper the answers in my ear and to guide my hand as I examined whatever pelvises needed examining. Or a stethoscope that tells me when to operate.

Of course I'm using a bit of the old reductio ad absurdum, and that's never fair, so let me argue my point another way. We've all heard a lot about Ray Charles recently. He mastered piano and tap dance despite his blindness, and we all benefited. The difference between Old No Eyes, as he was called, and this doctor is that he mastered the same piano that a sighted person would use, were they so inclined. It wasn't one of those player pianos with the Braille sheet music, it was a real piano. The bottom line is that Ray came, didn't see, and he conquered. The same goes for that creepy "Angel Eyes" guitar player guy and Lance Armstrong.

In closing, I leave you with the following question: Aren't health care costs high enough? Do we have to start buying computers so the blind can charge us out the ass for a papsmear, too?

Analogcabin @ 1:13 AM
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