I'm a day late on this, but when it comes to kissing cousins, you know what they say: "Better late than unrelated."

I know what you're thinking. Incest is a hot topic. And by hot I mean both heated and sexually exciting to me, because I'm a morally indigent fucking sicko. I can't wait to hear what The Spoonbender has to say about it, because the combination of his remarkable prose and stunning brilliance is sure to set me to sail toward shores of dreamy delicium, and along the way I just might get wet.

And how.

But first, some background. The story is nominally the tale of Donald W. Andrews Sr. and Eleanore Amrhein -- kissing cousins whose "deeper love" and desire to wed drove them all the way from their home state of Pennsylvania to America's infamous Gomorrah, Maryland, where it is legal to marry your cousin. It is a merry land, indeed.

Now none of this is what I'd consider news, really, but that doesn't seem to concern whichever AP flunky penned the piece. To him, the Andrews-Amrhein' story serves as an excuse to do three things. The first is to shock us with the fact that marrying one's cousin is legal in 26 states. That means you can get familiar with those who are most familiar in more than half of our country. Sweet release! The writer also shares with us the results of a genetics study that found that the offspring of first cousins only have an approximately 2% greater chance of birth defects than that of an unrelated couple. As stated, the modest number is the resounding yes to the subtextual question running through the article: Is banging your hot cousin worth the gamble?

Finally, and I think most hilariously, the author uses the opportunity to interview the head of Cousins United to Defeat Discriminating Laws through Education. It's an organization working toward the abolishment of laws banning marriage between cousins, and its acronym is CUDDLE -- the comedy coup de grace of the piece, though the author doesn't make that explicit.

While I think we all can agree with the AP writer that it's fun to laugh at people who marry their cousins, there's a real issue to be discussed here. More than half of the states in this country allow cousins to marry, and more than half of the states in the country are seriously considering bans on gay marriage. I'm no expert, but I'm fairly certain breeding with blood relatives is discouraged in the bible roughly as heartily in as is homosexuality.

In the end, marriage is and should remain a religious or cultural ceremony, and the state should neither ban or sanction it. If you want to marry your gay brother, that's fine by me, you sick homo loser.

Analogcabin @ 1:42 PM
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