I feel fairly certain that a good number of you listen to NPR's Morning Edition, but that doesn't mean you should start nodding and raising your hand like you're in the front row of an eighth grade science class and I just asked what osmosis is. Just sip your green tea and be still. It's my turn now, because today I found myself listening to Morning Edition. And as you might have guessed, something beyond the usual speech impediments and light jazz bumpers bothered me.

About once an hour, my local affiliate runs listener opinion pieces called "Perspectives" during the NPR station breaks. This morning the piece was written and read by some chalk boring San Francisco schoolteacher named Richard Swerdlow who, rain or shine, walks to work. His walk is 15 minutes each way, and he went on for what seemed like 50 about how every day's journey was new and filled with glorious discovery. He boasted about how he was getting good exercise, saving money, reducing traffic and parking congestion, and polluting nothing more than our ears with his self-righteousness.

Lest you become jealous that I was able to enjoy his thoughts, here is Richard's "Perspective." Listen now. I sat through it, so I'm confident I can wait for you.

Now as you've just heard, KQED's policy is to disclaim that each "Perspective" does not represent the views of NPR, KQED, or anybody else. It's a sensible policy, I suppose, were the "Perspectives" ever anything more than utter pablum. But they never are. Every time I hear a "Perspective," it's something like Richard's -- that we should walk more, read more, vote more, enjoy nature more, use our turn signals more, that we be less selfish lovers, that we enjoy a balanced diet and discourage violent crime, or that we should educate children -- ours and all others.

It's this kind of spineless ninnyism that gives NPR the reputation of being a platform for spineless ninnies. Give me a "Perspective" on why we should walk to work with our penises out and I'll listen, because that's a unique perspective and, frankly, very worthy of consideration.

Analogcabin @ 10:46 AM
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