Tuesday, March 01, 2005
 

You've gotta love the Japanese. First off, there's sushi, which is pretty delicious. Then there's all that bizarre comic book porno. It's not really my cup of sake, but you've got to admit that it's ballsy to look at cartoons of teachers getting raped by crazy octopus creatures in public. Very Aqualung, you know? Then there's how they're all like children, with their costumes and potty humor and being so short. And who doesn't love gadgets? I sure do, and thanks to Japan, I have some.

Yep. The Japanese are awesome, and here's the latest proof.

Apparently Japan successfully launched a satellite over the weekend. Big fucking deal, right? Now they're only 50 years behind their dilapidated comrades to the Northwest, Russia. But for Japan it was a big deal because the last time they tried, a little over a year ago, they had to blow up their rocket shortly after liftoff. That's what you call egg foo yong on your face foo yong. Like when you're not invited to a party then you pretend you don't want to go anyway, most G8 countries that can't launch a satellite act like they don't want to. But Japan was all like, "We going to raunch shatirite!" Then they totally fucked up.

So anyway, Japan's pumped because they got their satellite into orbit, so they immediately announce that they're going to build a base on the moon.

Slow down, there, Tojo! Just 'cause you got your license doesn't mean you can win the Indy 500. Or, to use a metaphor that you all might better understand, you're not a ninja because you've got nifty two-toed slippers.

Analogcabin @ 9:20 AM
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