As you might imagine, I get a lot of fan mail here at The Spoonbender headquarters in my mom's basement. Most of it is embarrassingly gushing and contains pornographic proposals or pictures. From time to time, though, I receive an email that even I cannot describe, blackbelt though I am in the karate of words. Below is one such email, and while I can't say I disagree with the anti-Pennsylvanian sentiments expressed in it, I do find it a bit odd. The name, address, and phone number, though provided in the original, have been withheld.

Each morning as I wake up to retrieve the daily paper I look up and down the street, that is where my blood begins to boil, and this recurring nightmare plays out in my mind. [run on sic]

You see I look down at my feet to discover a giant eraser and as if I were trapped in a hideous "comic book" I begin erasing each and every Pennsylvania tagged car on our New Jersey streets but as fast as I erase I find more and more Pennsylvania cars, multiplying like roaches in a sea of untended garbage..[run on; extra period sic]

On any given day on any block in Trenton, Ewing, Hamilton, N.J. one can count dozens of Pennsylvania tagged vehicles, mostly illegal, probably uninsured, yet there they are; and no one in this city, county, or even state government seem motivated to address the problem; and it is a problem. It is fast becoming a cancer in our cities, an intolerable situation we legal residents face daily as we simply try to find a place to park our car! [um, generally bad punctuation and deteriorating train of thought sic]

This is not an anti-immigrant letter, or in any way biased against any group of people; the only bias is directed toward the illegal driver, and there are thousands of Latin American "ancestry" in Trenton alone who have discovered a way to use Pennsylvania and make fools of New Jersey. There is no wonder that we those of us who abide by the law see ever escalating insurance premiums, dangerous overcrowded housing conditions; just do the math and discover the problem illegal immigration causes. [Christ, really? sic]

This network of fraud, an industry really, schools illegals in ways to procure false documentation, gain stolen license plates and obtain bogus driver's license. In this post 9/11 world it forces one to imagine what else is easily available when profit is the motive! [I feel uncomfortable sic]

Analogcabin @ 2:25 PM
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