It's Friday, friends and fans, but as we prepare to Thank God with liters of oversweet margaritas and tiny plates filled again and again with warmish potato skins and limp nachos, I offer you this cautionary tale. It tells of Matthew Carrington -- a 21-year-old Chico State student who died while pledging what's got to be the lamest fraternity ever.

You see, his Chi Tau pledgemasters forced him to "[drink] water from a five-gallon jug and [do] exercises" until he died of hyponatremia, or water intoxication. Now I don't claim to be completely in touch with what's cool these days, but back when I was in college being in a frat meant, like, having fun. I'm talking beer bongs, homoerotic paddlings, and the occasional date rape, not calesthenics and hydration.

So this weekend, let's all try to learn Matthew's lesson: Stay safe, have fun, and drink alcohol.


RIP Matthew Carrington, who didn't even die of a cool pledging accident, like drinking 100 shots of tequila and trying to fuck a brown bear.

Analogcabin @ 9:25 AM
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