The Broward County Sheriff's Office is on the lookout for a couple who were seen tossing a newborn baby out of their moving car, and then speeding away. Another driver spotted the incident, and, after noticing that the bundle was moving, stopped to investigate. In the grass by the side of the road she found a newborn baby with a plastic grocery bag over its head. After heroically uncovering its head, she drove the child to the Broward County Sheriff's Office.

"There was no rain in the forecast for Ft. Lauderdale yesterday, so we suspect the plastic bag might have been meant for something other than keeping the baby dry," said Sheriff's Office investigator Justin Molton. "The baby also does not feel especially slippery, and does not seem to be able to jump or leap in any way. Also, according to the witness, the car slowed down to a speed of approximately five miles an hour prior to the incident. This all seems to indicate the act was intentional on the part of the parents, though we haven't yet ruled out an accident."

According to the witness, the driver of the car was a black male wearing an "Afro hairstyle" and the passenger was a white female in braids. The couple appeared to be arguing just prior to the incident. They are now being sought for charges ranging from littering to attempted murder.

"While we haven't yet determined the exact nature of this crime, I think it serves as further proof that race mixing is a bad idea. Period. The relationships are combative and the mulatto children are treated like trash, literally," said Sheriff Kurt Jeanne. "Fathers, if your daughters are doing things like braiding their hair in the colored-style or listening to that jungle music, you owe it to them to beat the nigger-lover out of 'em before it's your beige grandchild they're tossing out of a car in a plastic bag."

"'Afro hairstyle,'" Jeanne muttered, "Typical."

Analogcabin @ 9:55 AM
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