America scored a major blow against the Enemies of Freedom today when it was discovered that a photograph of a purportedly kidnapped American soldier named "John Adam" was actually of an action figure named Special Ops Cody.

"We relieved to hear that John Adam is safe and undoubtedly enjoying the company of his comrades John Smith, John McDonalds, John David, and David John," said Staff Sgt. Nick Minecci of the Army public information office in Baghdad. "As for Special Ops Cody, if you can hear this, stay strong, for soon we will bring your captors to justice."

The organization that claimed to have held John Adam, known as Al Mujahadeen Brigade, has long toiled in the shadow of better known and more reputable Islamist factions such as Al Qaeda. Analysts agree that the embarrassing revelation that they kidnapped an action figure, no matter how realistic, will further tarnish their reputation in the terror community.

"I mean an action figure? And calling him John Adam? That's like the infidel Americans calling us Mohammad Al Carbomb or something. This incident casts a negative light on all of us," said Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, currently one of Al Qaeda's rising stars.


Special Ops Cody, above, is thought to have be taken hostage due to his lack of a kung-fu grip.

Analogcabin @ 1:12 AM
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