Rev. Jack Arnold died during his sermon at Covenant Presbyterian Church in Oviedo, Florida Sunday immediately upon speaking the phrase "And when I go to heaven...." Shock and grief was followed by confusion and curiosity among Arnold's parishoners, who speculated on how Arnold might have finished the sentence.

"Knowing Father Jack, I think he would have said that he'd greet all his departed loved ones," suggested Tammy Comber, 52. "He loved to talk about his dead relatives."

"Father Jack liked to leave 'em laughing," said William Conger Reilly, 43. "And he was a big Dolphins fan. I think he would have made a crack about asking God why he let Ricky Williams get away."

Sources in heaven suggest something else entirely, however, which may explain Arnold's sudden departure from the material world. "Let's just say that he might have been intending to say that he'd punch a certain omniscient someone in what he planned on calling 'the big effing mouth,'" said a source within the Choir of Angels who requested His Name not be spoken. "I mean, free will is cool and all, but if you step to The Lord, you're gonna get got."

Analogcabin @ 8:17 AM
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