In November Kendal Byrd contacted the offices of the Associated Press with the news that her 59-year-old mother Frances Harris was pregnant with twins. Harris confirmed the story in subsequent interviews, and said that 'dem babies be up in 'er despite that her tubes had been tied years earlier.

Now, according to another press release -- this one authored by her 39-year-old son Fred Jackson, Harris is not only not pregnant, she and the family would prefer that the media leave them alone. For its part, the media responded to the Harris clan request thusly:

Harris did not answer the door or phone at her rural home Tuesday. She has not responded to questions from the AP for weeks.

Or, more simply, by pounding on her door and yelling, "Who's getting fucked this time, eh Francie?" between slugs of Crazy Horse Malt Liquor.

This sad tale is obviously one of a zealously undertaken, poorly considered, and quickly regretted plan to find fame and fortune. But what except things zealously undertaken, poorly considered, and quickly regretted can we expect from a woman who is "a mother of five, grandmother of 14, and great-grandmother of six" at age 59? Still, it should be a reminder to all of us who have called the offices of AP with wild claims of, say, a penis that's corkscrewed like a pig's.


Frances Harris, above, will let you go bareback. Sly devil.

Analogcabin @ 3:34 PM
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