If Memphis defense attorney Leslie Ballin is right and this is the jury pool from hell, then I want to go to hell because it sounds fucking awesome.

Ballin made the comment in reference to jury selection proceedings prior to an assault case in which a woman was accused of hitting her brother's girlfriend in the face with a brick. I know what you're thinking: That's illegal? I had the same reaction, but apparently it is in Tennessee. Right after the proceedings began, one man stood up and left the courtroom, declaring, "I'm on morphine and I'm higher than a kite right now." And how, sir.

Soon after, the prosecutor asked if anyone in the pool had been convicted of a crime. One man had been arrested and was taken to a mental hospital after he'd nearly shot his nephew. He went on to explain that he was justified, as the boy had provoked him by refusing to come out from under his bed. Sure, that's crazy... like a fox!

Another juror had been arrested for soliciting sex from an undercover cop. He obviously regretted his error, as he then offered that he "should have known something was up... she had all her teeth." Well, if learning from your mistakes disqualifies you from serving your fellow citizens in a jury, then I hope we're all disqualified.

Analogcabin @ 3:51 PM
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