Thursday, September 23, 2004

I'm sure you all saw this story and thought to yourselves, I know what it's going to say on The Spoonbender: it'll be all 'Punishment? Fuck that! These boys should be congratulated!' except it'll be as fucking hilarious and totally right on as that website always is. I fucking love The Spoonbender. If I could, I'd slather it all over my genitals and make love with it squeezing betwixt my dewy thighs.

Well, you're wrong, Mr. Ma'am. Dead wrong. And hold on to the edges of your seats, America, because I'm about to up the ante. Ready? Not only do I agree that punishment is appropriate, I say these boys weren't punished nearly enough.

Oh yes I did.

Sure, there's a certain skill set required draw up plans for the construction of a pole-dancing platform in your dorm room. And, yes, it take follow-through. You've got to go down to the Home Depot and purchase a steel pole and other supplies. You've got to bring them back into your dorm without causing too much of a ruckus. The construction is no joke, either, especially when it's all done in a tight space like a dorm. And, granted, these guys didn't just leave the stage unfinished. They covered it in red felt, which, I think, is a classy touch. Follow-through and attention to detail are two things you'd don't see a lot of in kids today. And so what if they didn't stop there? Making fliers to put up all over campus is no big feat, but I do have to admit that the $100 gift certificate to Victoria's Secret is pretty funny.

The reason I think these little shitheads should be punished as severely as is allowed by the laws of God and Man is simple. I give you the words of school spokesman John Daigle, Jr.:

There was no public nudity involved here.

No fucking nudity! After all that planning, building, legwork, promotion, and beer, these idiots couldn't get the girls naked. It's like the going through the whole Manhattan Project, getting the bomb into the Enola Gay, flying halfway around the world, and fucking missing Hiroshima. What a travesty! If history and Girls Gone Wild have taught us anything, it's that college girls want nothing more in life than to show their boobs in public. They just need an excuse... any excuse. When it comes down to it, all they need is a venue, permission, and a little Smirnoff Ice.

These boys need to learn a lesson from The A-Team. They were a crack commando unit because, when they were trapped in an old barn, surrounded, and facing insurmountable odds, they didn't just build a kick ass tank out of PVC pipe, some rusty rakes, horse shit, and an old tractor. They built a kick ass tank, busted back out the front door, turned the table on the bad guys, and set things right. If all they did was build a tank then proceed get their asses kicked, nobody would have bothered searching around the Los Angeles underground to hire them.

Analogcabin @ 4:50 PM
Permalink |


2003 - 2007 © TPKI, LLC
All Rights Reserved





Hate customers?


June 2003
July 2003
August 2003
September 2003
October 2003
November 2003
December 2003
January 2004
February 2004
March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
November 2007
January 2008


This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?
Weblog Commenting by