I think we all knew it was only a matter of time before somebody filed suit against the Atkins people for clogging their arteries. I can understand the impetus. I had a coworker on Atkins that would sit in a meeting every week dipping cheese sticks into ranch dressing and eating them. When he fell off the wagon, I was about one stick away from filing suit against his mouth with my fucking fist.

But just because something's annoying doesn't mean the suit's justified. Consider this:

Gorran, 53, said Thursday he started the diet in May 2001 because his weight had risen from 140 to 148 pounds. In two months, he said, his cholesterol rose from a normal 146 to an unhealthy 230, and by October 2003, he needed heart angioplasty to clear his arteries.

He's a 53 year old man that went on a diet because his weight rose eight pounds, from 140 to 148. Maybe if he hadn't acted like such a little girl in the first place, going on a diet because he gained weight equivalent of a real man's bowel movement, there wouldn't have been a problem.

You're a 53 year old man, Jody, no matter what your name suggests. Feel free to tip the scales at 150 -- you've earned it.

Analogcabin @ 12:36 PM
Permalink |