These are dark days when the Harlem Globetrotters are called upon to teach the youth of our nation about honesty. That's right. I'm talking about the same Harlem Globetrotters that have undertaken a massive deception for more than a half century -- consistently "defeating" "rival" "team" the Washington Generals. Nonetheless, Secretary of Education Rod Paige has seen fit to subsidize Globetrotter visits to more than 150 elementary schools in which students will be taught about honesty and ball-handling.

In other elementary school ball handling news, charges against Michael Jackson are expected to be filed today. CNN reports that prosecuting DA Tom Sneddon has agreed to delay arraignment, return Jackson's passport, and allow him to travel overseas. Goodbye, Neverland. Hello, Thailand.

Sneddon's also expected to supply Jackson with an 11-year-old Latino boy, a script for roofies, and a jar of Vaseline.

Analogcabin @ 11:14 AM
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