Something happened this morning that reminded us that we at The Spoonbender don't talk enough about our tough stance on things. Important things that affect us all. Things like "issues." This morning's event made us realize that it's high time to make right the oversight.

But first, please notice that when we at The Spoonbender end paragraphs with a rhyme, we sound like Jesse Jackson.

The first of our tough stances is against grunting, gasping, or groaning while shitting in a public, multiple stall toilet. We at The Spoonbender just got back from taking a crap, and, really, people. If you make noises like you've been gutshot when you're on the bowl, you probably don't need to make a doodie that badly. If you're looking for the attention your drunken pig of a father never gave you, try a bathroom in a rest stop off the interstate. Lean back against the hole and you'll get gruntworthy male attention soon enough.

The second of our tough stances is that we at The Spoonbender don't really get why people write their blogs in the "we" point of view, whatever that's called. At least two that I read regularly do it: Gothamist and TMFTML. I suspect the latter thinks it's funny, and I can dig on that. The former, though, seems to use the technique to give the illusion of an editorial point of view. Before this "we" thing gets way out of hand, let's be honest with ourselves and admit that the only time a blogger's justified in writing from "the we" is when they're referring to themselves and their constant companions, crushing loneliness and pitiful hunger for attention.

And let me pause to point out that I realize tough stance two is a lot closer to a Sniglet than it is to a tough stance.

The third tough stance we at The Spoonbender take is against spam. I'd guess by now that pretty much everyone is familiar with the feeling of helplessness to stop the onslaught of unwanted email. I find that using SpamCop helps. From what I can tell, you forward a spam message to SpamCop and it somehow figures out where it originated and who hosts the website advertised. SpamCop then sends the involved parties nasty emails. In essence, you spam the people providing internet service to the spammers in the hopes that they'll get irritated and cut off the service. Or something. I don't know if it works, but I like doing it.

Anywho, this morning I got a spam that caught my eye. It's either the work of an amazing, surrealist artist that chooses spam as his canvas or it's some kind of high concept psychosexual taunt designed to drive me to the linked website. Either way, I'm intrigued.

I submit the spam for your perusal. I'd appreciate any thoughts or interpretations you might have, and that's what the "comments" thing is for.

I've heard _all_ about you...

Home of big dicks!

>> But each day brings its petty dust our soon-choked souls to fill, and we forget because we must, and not because we will.

50.000 of massive penises mpegs!

>> By common consent gray hairs are a crown of glory the only object of respect that can never excite envy.

10.000 of hardcore gigant cocks pics.

>> There are certain moments when we might wish the future were built by men of the past.

Shocking live penitration shows.

>> The price for independence is often isolation and solitude.

Chicks who fuck huge penises.

>> No amount of artificial reinforcement can offset the natural inequalities of human individuals.

19" Inches in tiny pussys!

Your virtual paradise:

http://miracle.hostgym.com:8088/

El kio ke te guadre

Unsubscribe: YcTl80vMcz@hsotgym.com

Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it. Do not give in too much to feelings. A overly sensitive heart is an unhappy possession on this shaky earth. When it comes to getting things done, we need fewer architects and more bricklayers.

Analogcabin @ 7:09 AM
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