CNN reports that, according to the testimony of former Rosie marketing chief and cancer survivor Cindy Spengler, O'Donnell chastised her for lying by saying the following:

Rosie:
You know what happens to people who lie? They get sick and they get cancer. If they keep lying, they get it again.

This is exactly the kind of brazenly illogical threat you'd hear from a gin-sneaking 12-year-old babysitter who wants nothing more than for her annoying charge to leave her alone with her already blue-balled 17-year-old "boyfriend."

Spengler:
Your mother died of breast cancer. Was she lying?

I like this Spengler. She cuts to the quick.

Rosie:
Yes.

And there you have it. If only this case were a TV drama series, it would be here that the gallery would titter and ah, the defense lawyer's head would collapse into his hands, and the judge would slam his gavel and remand O'Donnell to the care of the state, leaving the empathic prosecutor and the audience with one unanswered question -- what did her mother lie about?

"Rosie, someday you'll grow up to be the prettiest bride in the whole world, and I won't be dead from the cancer!"


O'Donnell: I'm gonna stick this up in them guts!

Analogcabin @ 9:06 AM
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