While clicking my way through CNN.com today, I happened upon the following headline: "Schools Tackle PDA Problem". I immediately clicked on it, of course, as the prospect of a story chronicling teachers' ages-old battle against public displays of affection is, in a word, hot. I mean, even the most clammy prose describing hormonally overloaded nymphets putting their newly acquired "skillz" through the proverbial paces in public is more than enough to grab the attention of a devout lecher such as myself. So imagine my chagrin, then, when I discovered the PDA in question is not a public display of affection at all, but something known as a "personal digital assistant."

Actually, now that I read "personal digital assistant," I realize it does sound kind of hot. Like the pink latex tube you may or may not have seen advertised in the back pages of Playboy and may or may not be able to find stashed in my pantry within a box of Post Grape Nuts cereal.

But let me set my immaturity aside. The PDAs referred to in this article are apparently small personal computers fancied by the youth of today. Though I find it difficult to believe, they are not only capable of holding class notes, schedules, and addresses, but of playing games and sending short missives to other students equipped with their own PDAs. The use of these PDAs -- along with that of cell phones, laptops, and graphing calculators -- has some teachers and administrators in a tizzy fo' shizzy, as the kids have a tendency to use the gadgetry as a distraction.

It reminds me of my days in high school. Seldom was there an American History lecture that we didn't stealthily gab our way through, thanks to the CB Radios we all tucked into our backpacks. "Breaker one nine... we've got a serious set of cans on Missy, easily visible through her new Zenyatta Mondatta shirt. I'd like to pull down her Jams and give her some Outlandos d'Amour, over."

In my day, that's what PDA was all about. What I'm trying to say is that kids today are pussies, and if they want to fight, they should bring it the fuck on. I'm right here.

Analogcabin @ 1:56 PM
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