Anybody who loves a devoted, tortured soul of the Red-Sox-fan variety has likely heard of the "Curse of the Bambino." Superstition holds that the BoSox have suffered their near-century of misery because, in 1920, their owner sold up-and-coming Babe Ruth to the Yankees for a huge amount of cash. (Which he supposedly used to finance a stage musical, thus solidifying high-school jocks' hatred of "theater fags" to this day. Thanks.)

Through 1918, Boston won five of baseball's first 15 World Series. New York, none.
Since 1920: Yankees 26, Red Sox 0.

Recent pursuit of the boo-hoo hoodoo has led divers to plumb the depths of a Sudbury, Mass. pond for a piano Ruth allegedly pushed into it while on vacation. Logic being, spend $200,000 finding and restoring a piano he apparently hated, Bambino Lifto De Curso.

On to Japan. This year, Osaka baseball fans are pumped about their Hanshin Tigers, verging on their first pennant in almost 20 years of being similarly dominated by the Tokyo big-money Yomiuri Giants. All that time, the Tigers have sucked (Osaka thinks) because, amid the celebrations of their 1985 championship, drunk fans hurled a Colonel Sanders mannequin into the river. They think a pissed-off Colonel Sanders cursed their team. Among other appeasement, river divers attempted their own KFSea Hunt for the statue.

So which roly-poly fuck did the US job market piss off?
And where do I go with all this snorkel gear?

J.D. @ 6:36 PM
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